shutupaubrey:

If a white boy is talking to you just say “oh shit dude no way” and they’ll think you’re listening the whole time

spermbanker:

u know when u cold n ur nipnops go hard. why my titty betray me

felizlevidad:

*7th grader voice from 2006* haha google blue waffle

(Source: gaypriest)

reginamas:

i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost

and she’s just like

well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit

(Source: adorablebadass)

dampsandwich:

Well “officer” if thats even your real name,