snakelikecharmer:

parisjemm:

A relationship is like a house

If a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.

Unless that house is a lying whore

Then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.

This took the best possible turn.

fstw:

amoyed:

fstw:

amoyed:

fstw:

amoyed:

I wanna fuck so many of you

Nice nice but I wanna eat this turkey bacon BLT

what the fuck is a blt

Do you not have Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwiches in the UK….

if we did we’d just call it a “bacon lettuce tomato sandwich”

So you guys don’t have abbreviations either? Laugh Out Loud…..

illkim:

imagine if we had text post signatures

——————————————————————-

image

(Source: illkim)

jokesmymomwouldlike:

are you ever just like “lol white people” but then you’re like “wait i am a white people”

(Source: jokesmymomwouldlike)

dominospizzadelivery:

"Hey can u check if that milk went bad?"

*opens fridge*

*milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette*

"It’s bad alright"

petparent:

madturbating:

cory in the blouse

image

vedantist:

adventures-in-blogyssey:

highlyglamorous:

It smells like grilled cheese outside

which lana del rey song is this from

it sounds more like a lorde song